A dissident frequency
4.02.2011
4.01.2011
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
FLORIDA- An atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days.
The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned!
The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned!
3.28.2011
The Endangered Hellbender, aka Snot Otter
The Most Appropriately Endangered Species on the Planet
Somewhere in the world right now a harpy eagle is choking on the remnants of a helium balloon and a giant sea turtle is strangling itself in a six-pack ring. Nature, by its very ... nature, is cruel; it claims the lives of animals wantonly, sometimes the lives of entire species, leaving the rest terrified and wondering which will be the next group to blink out of existence. Will it be the stoic snow leopard? The majestic osprey? Bugs?
Hard to say. Someone would have to count all the animals which would take forever.
But, where others might see tragedy, I see opportunity for heroism. Humanity alone is gifted with a reason so sharp and a compassion so pointed that together they can cut through the tangled nets of nature, and free endangered whales. We belong to a species with abnormally large hearts and minds, and I have chosen to use mine to help the creatures of the world, even the ugly ones.
I spent two days last week in Washington D.C. working to protect a canary in the coalmine species called the snot otter. The World Wildlife Fund requested my help after reading the gentle and affectionate attention I showed teratoma tumors in the January issue of FitPregnancy magazine. They wanted my help making the world fall in love with something terrible...
Full story at link: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-most-appropriately-endangered-species-planet/#ixzz1HxGZRot1